Caught in the Guru Game
How John deRuiter and his community in Edmonton went astray
Introduction and Resumé
My name is Devayan and I have known John deRuiter since his early teaching days. Over the last 16 years he has been a major inspiration and guidance in my life. I have travelled with him to seminars around the world and to his headquarters and community in Edmonton. I am a seasoned and sincere traveler, – since my youth I have spent 45 years investigating spirituality and awakening, with Osho, Almaas, John and Longchen Rabjam as my primary inspirations.
Being consciousness-oriented, it was a gift for me to meet up with John´s more heart-oriented approach in 2000. The signature of Jesus behind John was so palpable, because of John´s faith and surrender to him and because John never took anything for himself. He was just a humble servant opening to the master in the Beyond that I could trust and listen to. Through dialogues in the chair I received guidance and instruction for a whole lifetime and I am still harvesting the fruit of these precious conversations with gratefulness.
Around 2010 John discreetly began to take on the role of Master and slowly his directions pointed more and more to himself as the defining portal and location. It was now deemed crucial to be as physically close to him as possible, if you had any significant response. The informal meetings started and if you were serious about it you had to move to Edmonton, no matter the cost.
Because John was so persistently loyal to truth and seemed so integrated, the shift of attention to his “perfect” personal form felt only beneficial and accelerated our own embodiment of truth. So it seemed in the beginning.
But now it seems to me that his mastery has turned into an example that absolute power corrupts, and that the abuse of power is gaining momentum. John has decided that it is his “calling to give form to the Deep” through sexual intercourse with chosen female disciples. How the calling got itself narrowed down and interested in a little group of beautiful females, to help them “embody their awakening”, is still a mystery. This practice has been a rumor for years but denied with evasive answers, whenever somebody was impertinent enough to ask about it. The reason for the secrecy is that because of our cultural conditioning, we are not able to perceive the situation in its right esoteric perspective! It should be obvious for anyone, that if we are so poorly equipped to comprehend the blessing, then it will probably not land with grace in us anyway.
Once the fall to using power starts it spreads fast. Attempts to legitimize and cover up will sooner or later crumble in light of the increasing and obvious abuse. History shows it. And in my lifetime I have seen the corruptive impact of power playing out to lesser degree, in most hierarchical master/disciple fields. It seems almost unavoidable, unless the master relies on someone with higher initiation or seeks exposure and sparring in a collective forum of other teachers/friends.
A growing number of mature and awakened souls with different spiritual orientations are coming to the conclusion that, to avoid the fallacies of the old hierarchical master/disciple relationship, we have to mature and become able to enter a new paradigm of awakened group function where we do not rely on any specific teacher/master as a mediator, but rather access Source directly, through our own individual and collective capacity. I will return briefly to this later.
The Master/Disciple Hierarchy
The hierarchical master/disciple relation is ancient and obviously has been of indispensable value for humanity. And still is. If the Buddha had chosen not to speak I would probably not have recognized the ineffable and spacious nature of my innermost.
Just like the young apprentice must learn from an old skilled master-artisan, so we must learn the basic skills of growing and get ignited through closeness with those that are on fire. It is a natural and necessary beginning. And the easiest way of getting a taste of your true nature is to skip your own self momentarily by surrendering to another who rests in selflessness.
Later you will have to look quite a bit more into this sticky self to become able to disentangle yourself from its returning grip. This equally crucial phase is not actualized by remaining endlessly in the masters blessed presence!
Rupert Spira says that the teacher is meant to be like a slip road. (youtube: The Responsibility of a Teacher part 1+2). You activate and gain momentum with the master and then you head off on the freeway, – you don’t stay on the slip road. Even if we keep ending up in the ditch and need to use the sliproad a thousand times, finally, we are still meant to become sober and stable drivers ourselves. Perhaps not as capable as the master, but less will do – otherwise we shall always be driving behind him and never see the full free view for ourselves.
Most likely many of the followers in Edmonton and other spiritual fields, would lose contact with the innermost and get distracted and lost in their lives, if they were not activated and carried regularly by their master. It is an understandable and true need. So this text is not advising against the master/disciple relationship as such.
However, it is time that we grow up and look as conscious adults at the pitfalls of childish idealization and the resulting sectarianism. A sect is like a kind of extended ego. A group of people merge into one organism and the system develops a hard edge around itself, which makes it increasingly marked and defensive whether you are in or out. To avoid this tendency, we have to let go of blind idealization and cultivate greater discernment about what we adopt and what we discard from our beloved teacher.
(The words master and teacher are rather randomly used in this text because the issue is the same.)
No matter how uplifting and helpful the hierarchical master/disciple relationship may be, it is also prone to a number of declines, which most spiritual fields display:
- In-effectiveness of approach. The movements and insights that arose naturally in the teacher´s path cannot just be repeated in your They can easily become superego impositions on your path and besides lacking the precision to take you all the way Home, they can have negative side effects. A bit like when a system has difficulty absorbing artificial implants.
- Lack of individual crystallization and unfoldment. If each soul is a unique flower that is meant to express the Source in a completely new way, there is reason to tread your own path carefully and without compromise. Otherwise you will be drawn to manifest the teacher´s contribution, instead of your own.
- Loss of inner guidance. When you are occupied by listening to another´s guidance, you are not continually present in your own stream of guidance. Always asking guidance from the teacher may look like sincere interest, but is often a laziness that makes your own discernment dull.
- Copying of the teacher´s shortcomings and shadows. The undiscerning surrender to the master tends to embody his energetic imbalances and leave the corresponding shadow areas in you untouched.
- Inflation and exaggerated confidence develops by merging and identifying with the masters realization. Because the light is somewhat borrowed and does not have enough substantial ground in the disciple, hype is often arising to keep it going. Arrogance and sectarianism follows.
The usual method of transmission is that the master communicates his realization through talks and question/answer and people pick up the frequency, if they have the inner readiness and tuning.
But John has a gift. In old India they would have called it a siddhi (supernatural power) and warned him not to use it too much, lest he should become attached to its power and stagnate on that level instead of going the whole way.
If, in the chair before John, you have the slightest opening and response to Being, it looks to me as if John enters through that medium of Being, (which is the same in you and him), and with your permission his realization expands within you. This is direct transmission (shaktipat). No matter how meager your own spiritual capacities are, you get temporary access to levels of realization and bliss that most people have no ground to uphold. For the same reason a trajectory of dependency and addiction starts. Now you have to attend meetings and seek closeness with John for the rest of your life, because he will always be ahead of you. By close physical proximity and full response you will develop your own flight capacity, the story goes, but I have never heard of any bird growing strong wings, by riding on the back of its mother.
Osho did this shaktipat thing in the seventies, also including physical transmission. He put his thumb on people´s forehead and hurtled them into the vast reaches of space – after some years he dropped it and concluded that it mainly made people addicted to bliss and having more.
Direct transmission blesses the inexperienced traveler with the gift of introduction to Source, but for a person with an unstable psychological structure, it can be risky. It can lead to inflation or psychosis and call for much more follow-up and day-to- day support than the master is able and willing to give. The internet bears testimony to such cases.
15 years of direct transmission can turn even the most keen and inquisitive seeker into a drunken honeybee, who sits stoned in the chair and murmurs: John what is happening? It´s called coming from the Deep and being in full response, but behind the surrender to the all-powerful Godfather, I see the despondent human denial of one´s own divinity and the ego-core belief in fundamental deficiency.
Why does John choose to continue this method of transmission for decades, in spite of the obvious disempowering and addictive effects? Has he himself become addicted to the circulation and the powerful experience of moving it?
Seeds of Sectarianism
Blindness of Subjectivity
Each human being has a unique and subjective perspective, which they are greatly in favor of and they will usually go to great lengths to defend it. It seems that the very fact of being located within a human body means limitation of perspective. We simply cannot see it all from the location where we are looking from.
Maybe we all need to go through a period of such exclusive subjectivity, to discover, develop and unfold our unique soul-contribution. In a way we must each become a “logos”, a whole little universe with its own reality.
Likewise, on a larger scale, each master manifests a teaching with its own perspective, logic and methodology. And it is quite common for one master to be critical of another. From the position of one logos other logoi seem to miss the essential point and be inferior and even lead people a bit astray. It almost seems inherent to forming a new teaching that the field-holder develops a blind spot to the validity of other teachings.
The master stands naturally in the middle of his river where the stream is at its strongest. His attention is continuously and exclusively tied to the stream, otherwise, how would he be able to form the new teaching? So in one way he cannot be blamed for the consistency and focus of his view.
But at the same time this focus definitely creates blinkers and bias and ultimately leads to sectarianism. Actually all conflict and war on the planet derive from this human arrogance that favors one´s own perspective over other´s. Surprisingly this tendency survives even in quite advanced teachers. We seem to not realize the equal validity of other perspectives, before our realization arrives at a certain level of maturity, which A.H. Almaas has pointed to in his book “Runaway Realization”. The view of totality, which he calls “Total Being” frees one from this ingrained human blindness and opens up an aperspectival understanding that sees all possible perspectives as real in their own right and it gives validity to any you might take for the time being, because it moves your evolution forward.
Projection and Inflation
So we are in fact Creators who form our own reality to a much larger extent than we realize. By believing our thoughts we can make anything true and if we are passionate about it, others might believe our thoughts too!
The master is sitting permanently in the current of our projection and adoration. We love to see him as perfect and without a shadow. Our role in creating the grandeur of the meetings with the master plays a more significant part than we think. The building of profundity happens through the collective amassment and focus of our projected wisdom and energy. Without it John and the drawing energy vortex around him would shrink considerably and it would probably be a healthy diet. In fact it would allow the simple truth, for which no one can claim ownership, to shine more brightly.
Another dynamic related to the teaching situation is, that when the teacher transfers wisdom from the innermost in response to the sincere questions from the disciples, he actually sits in a stream that is perfect and without a shadow. It is not difficult to imagine how the combined pressure of disciple projection and his own experience of sitting in flawlessness, can convince him that: “I am perfect and without a shadow”. If there is the slightest unburned seed of identification, it will come out. It seems to me that John slowly assumed the identity of master, instead of being an empty channel serving his master or truth. I think this is the point of overstepping our human capacity. While it is perfectly possible for us to identify with the Absolute and its unlimited freedom and perfection, I believe it is necessary that we simultaneously retain a sense of being an imperfect human servant to truth also. Otherwise we leave our human vehicle unattended, like a child to go wherever it will and most likely it gets into trouble.
Because of the massive energy involved, a slight identification can develop into a monster. At its peak it says: “I am the ONE moving the Teaching forward.” The Teaching now becomes the only valid teaching on the planet and is believed to be absolutely crucial in the transformation of human consciousness.
This can even be true! But it takes full integration of enlightenment to legitimately “identify” with it and say so.
John should, in my view, rather take on his responsibility to work against this human mechanism of projection and not let himself be inflated with it. And why does he not discourage our adoration? Has our candidate for “the second coming of Christ” succumbed to “the last temptations in the desert”: miraculous powers, infallibility and the unlimited reign over the whole kingdom? It looks so to me.
According to many scriptures, this fall is possible right up to the consummation of full enlightenment. The same sources make it clear how far off from the initial awakening a full integration and embodiment is.
John´s appropriation of confidence and power naturally spreads to the disciples in the form of inflation, arrogance and hype. Within the spell of inflation one feels the thrill of being part of a group that has a cosmic role to play in “the building in the Deep”. People who do not feel attracted to this hotspot of evolution on Earth can seem to lack sincerity and response. The significance of seminars and meetings rise to cosmic proportions and become crucial events in the collective consciousness that you must participate in. The experiences and inner journeys are endless and increasingly refined and even when they do sometimes land momentarily in the standstill that annihilates the traveler, there is always the more and the next seminar.
It is easy to recognize all the ugly traits of hype and sectarianism coming into existence. And even so, people don’t see it. The divine intoxication and the human drives are just too strong and convincing. When something is so out of the ordinary good, you feel well-founded in thinking, no, actually you have an obligation to tell everybody else that they should have it too – or that they are missing something priceless and indispensable if they don´t. And you lovingly go to great lengths selflessly helping others come to this well of treasures. I did the same in my young days with Osho.
It is tempting to think that the reason for sectarianism lies only with the immaturity of the disciples. They clearly misinterpret and twist the perfect teachings of the master. Their libidinal selves drive them towards childish idealization and to defend the perfect and good parental figure. What can the master do? He has said a thousand times, to grow up and only rely on what we ourselves know.
But the master has a real responsibility, he must scrutinize the effect of his teachings and act accordingly when they take people astray. There is always interesting stuff for him to look into, because the disciples most likely mirror and magnify a tendency in him. In this case I think it is attachment to power.
Awakening and Shadows
Johns awakening happened in his youth without much preparation, which probably left shadow areas untouched and unknown to him. One could naively expect that the brilliance of awakening would shed light on the remaining shadows and transform them. Especially since integration of the self is such a central part in John´s teaching. But no, as it often happens, the two worlds split apart, the illuminated part loses contact with that dark part of one´s humanity, which did not participate in the awakening feast. Nevertheless, one´s available flight space is now much more expanded and the calling is to share the blessing, not re-identify with the patterns. Experience shows that it is much more difficult to acknowledge remaining shadows after awakening, because giving any reality to them at all, would seem as a betrayal or a doubting of one´s realization.
Everybody has shadows and unconscious patterning, even in spite of the fact that they might only relate to the all-knowing and all-seeing Source. The shadows have their origin in early childhood formation of the ego-core and are not easily uncovered. If you have not unveiled these areas in the unconscious before awakening, there is every chance that they will eventually twist your perception and lead to some kind of subtle power abuse, which is the most common flaw in teachers. The abuse will show up in your least developed instinctual sector. Money if survival instinct. Sex if sexual instinct. Fame/influence if social instinct.
These unevolved structures only become a problem, if you consider yourself so flawless and complete, that you do not need any feedback and exposure anymore. In which case they continue to operate out of your sight.
Engagement of the Human Drives
Our earliest childhood experiences structure and leave such strong imprints on our souls, that we are very deeply influenced by them throughout our life. The need for a protecting Father God, the need to belong and be seen and loved and the sexual need (nervous system regulation) are very strong libidinal drives in all of us. They are instinctually embedded in our genes and can take us for wild rides, both in the love-relationship scene and in the guru game.
John can appear as the epitome of a Father God. He is taking on the immense task of carrying each and every soul who surrenders to him. He will guide you personally in almost all matters of life and never tire with your childish questions. You are lifted out of your separate ego-life and gently set down amidst the most loving and heartwarming family that you have ever met, – a closeknit community, where help and support is always near. There´s even a good chance that you will become married, which besides being a lovely thing, serves to control the flow of your adherence to John.
Women become energetically “married” to John through the complete soul and body surrender that happens for most women in the chair. That “marriage” of course has to be consummated by proxy: their husband. After all, the “mormonic” father cannot be bothered with the daily petties and grievances of having so many wives, and it is primarily their essence he´s after anyway.
When there are relationship issues, John almost invariably advices the men, that they must listen and learn from their wife. The wife always seems strangely deeper and wiser and that is because of her gender-based surrender to John. Being so well tuned to her “deeper womanhood” (through responding to John), she is naturally entitled to her husband´s unconditional loyalty and willingness to learn from her. When he surrenders to her (= connects with John) he elicits a much more thorough love response and boundless sexuality from her than he would otherwise have been able to by himself and in this way men are bound to John through their wives.
The husband will have to accept this arrangement, even be thankful for it or leave and that is why many men in Edmonton have a slightly castrated and diminished feel about them.
I couldn´t accept this enslavement, but nevertheless I stayed too long, thereby generating much turbulence and frustration in myself. This was my own responsibility. I did it simply because I so much wished to stay with my partner. It showed me the depth of the human need to belong and how thoroughly that need is engaged by John and the community.
When my partner and I finally arrived in Edmonton to make the big immigration move, it was the most heartwarming welcome you could imagine. I acknowledge the realness of this incredible hospitality and helpfulness that we received, but still I always felt it was strictly within the perimeters of “paving our way to John” and that tempered the warmheartedness for me.
We were directly invited into the inner circles, lived with John´s closest associates, met with John personally in café´s and bars and were therefore much sought after in the social life of the community. We received invitation to most parties and private events, so every day was filled with these amazing meetings. Luminous beings had gathered from all around the world and we were bonding deeply with one another in silent communion and appreciation for our unifying master. Everything seemed possible. Provided that our response was flawless, total and unhesitating, we could in a few months have established a high reputation in the community, maybe even a position in the organization.
It was not so visible in the beginning, but everybody was monitoring each other closely and any lack of response to John or inappropriate questions would likewise send you hurtling down the status ladder in no time at all. A deep fear of being ostracized from this paradise of love and belonging controls everybody´s words and behavior, – without any need for set rules. The sectarian self-censorship functions to the degree that you don´t even think the wrong things, you would rather kill yourself than bring shame on your master!
Even the people who have left the sect for very good reasons, do not dare to speak out, for fear of breaking the samaya or honor codes by betraying the master.
It soon became clear for people that I had my own spiritual bearings and talked a strange language, which was not completely identical to Johns. When John himself also had difficulty relating to my questions in the chair, (he likes best if you use his own concepts), people thought I must be off and have some deep resistance that inhibits me from opening to John. Even though my status and credibility suffered over time, the senior disciples did not stop trying to help me “with my problem”. By tolerating the torture of my ungraceful questions about their impeccable master and indomitably trying to love me in the right direction, they echoed John´s teaching. Again I do not disregard their care in doing so, they really believed in what they were doing, but I could not extract any nectar from their love, since I constantly felt the sectarian mind behind it. I think it even became a kind of demonstration of faith to help me. A true believer would never doubt that sooner or later I would have to come around to Truth (John), so they stayed with me, right up until I left.
Fall from Grace
Source and Sexual Instinct
The seed of the fall was there right from the beginning. John´s weakest spot has always been the sexual instinct. Leaving a trail of angry and heartbroken women, his life demonstrated to him, that something was not in place. Maybe he tried to tame this instinctual force through marriage with his current wife. Anyway it didn’t work, he is again on the move and this time two won´t do. Having a whole harem is the natural next step. It is “his calling” mind you, not at all influenced by a human instinctual craving.
I do know of a higher reality beyond the planet, more like dolphin awareness, where sexual energy is not imprisoned by our human delusion of separation and where the Source can freely and intimately be shared in the physical without jealousy and heartbreak and without being called promiscuous or unfaithful.
But we humans are not there yet, our human instincts invariably infiltrates this basically free energy and molds it. The presence of male sexual instinct usually shows its mark in the preference for young, beautiful, ethericly vibrant, egg-producing women. And in the urge to spread your seeds in as many as possible.
If John´s calling was purely “to give form to the Deep”, I should think that the elder, more mature and experienced souls would be more appropriate candidates. But maybe, there is too much written on those old pages, perhaps he can better write the Deep into form on relatively blank, receptive pages with great potential. These are in no way a match for him, if it came to reciprocal exchange and mirroring. And so they can only serve as prolongations of him, which is probably also part of the veiled mechanism – female attractors enhancing the pull in the vortex that send more souls into the hungry void and keep the power game going.
The chosen female “ambassadors” are probably honored, happy and thriving in the beginning. But what is her deeper experience of being an isolated and gagged participant in a secret harem, waiting for the King´s call on her – and not somebody else. How long will that last? What kind of impression and state will it leave her in, when John loses interest and is on to the next? And when the whole game finally collapses, – how will these women come to terms with their experience of being seduced, controlled, exploited and cast out, when it dawns on them what they have been part of?
Even if John had reached an absolute level of integration where Nirvana (calling) and Samsara (sexuality) was one and the same for him, this perspective would still not apply to the female disciples (she wouldn´t be a disciple then), and so there would be some ethics involved concerning the females more relative and personal perspectives, that he couldn´t ignore. The very fact of secrecy demonstrates the lack of alignment and paves the sure way to the slippery slope. If the master is the only one who understands the full scope of the sexual transmission and the disciples are not yet ready for complete transparency, how can it ever land in healthy embodiment?
John seems to be recklessly dismissing the ethics concerning this. Has he become so convinced about his own power and perfection that he really believes that only good comes from it? Has he not learned from his former disasters?
Exposure and Heartbreak
The exposure that is happening now comes out of pressure. The chosen females could not be silenced and contained forever. Naturally the followers have difficulty swallowing the information and making it fit with the teachings that they have received from John.
It is somewhat perplexing, however, that the goodness of the teacher continues to unfold in spite of the corruption that seems to be going on. John isn’t suddenly turning out be an outright devious and self-serving monster. It is clearly not a central ego-identity in him – it is a much more hidden and early propensity that has grown in the dark. (Further insight into these preconceptual drives can be had from the book mentioned earlier (Runaway Realization pg 174-182). Underneath the growing shadow of his self-deception, he is still the simple man of goodness and honesty, we have always known. John is not having bad intentions. I am sure he thinks this is good and that he believes he is purely following his calling.
However ridiculous and unbelievable this seems, it all goes to show how much pressure it takes for a solidly established power-holder to realize that he has hidden ego-shadows, once the split has been cemented. Senior disciples and close friends must confront him without fear and expose him mercilessly. And support him through the breakdown of the delusion. Small adjustments won´t do. It is not OK to continue as a teacher, to sit in the projective adoration of the disciples and secretly exploit this situation and call it something else. Living out such dreams doesn´t belong in the master/disciple realm. In my opinion, John must give up his mastery and step down from his teaching role for a substantial period and get his personal stuff together. He must return to the desert and defy the Devil´s temptations.
The heartbreak will spread. It is no small matter for the dedicated disciples to realize their displacement of trust and commitment. Many of them have sacrificed houses, property, careers, spouses, children and friends, to be able to come to Edmonton and they have lived in this enclosed reality for many years. These people are intelligent and sincere seekers. How could they overlook the growing corruption and sectarianism? It is no wonder that they go through phases of denial, disbelief and negotiation with the truth.
The inner psychological implications of losing ones teacher can also be dramatic: If one has any psychodynamic structures representing the relationship: a sweetness loving self-subject that basks in the presence of a goodness master-object, that image will be shattered and it can throw one into a lonely well of darkness and despair.
Surprisingly enough, the collapse of the whole dream can also bring about an enormous sense of relief! Whenever unreal structures and dreams fall, they leave more space for truth…
When I left Edmonton and went out of the door, I discovered the limitless sky above me, the fresh cool breeze and rain on my face, I realized that I had been living within a hothouse, shielded by John. Now I was in the open. It was up to me to make everything that he and others had given me come true.
Going beyond the Guru Game
The challenge is to maintain trust and commitment to truth. The fact that you overlooked and stepped in a dogshit doesn’t mean that you are not headed in the right direction! Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater!
We can learn from this, if we enquire into the seeds of sectarianism and power abuse, which lie in all of us. If we can gain insight into these human tendencies in the human psyche, there is gold to be harvested. It can become an evolutionary leap forward.
And we are assisted in our enquiry by others, who made mistakes. The fall of Andrew Cohen (once a promising teacher in the Papaji-Ramana lineage) has been intelligently and thoroughly documented by himself and his disciples in a very touching video on Conscious2 (“How I created a Cult”). It honestly shares the valuable information on how a wonderful and promising movement can turn into a power abusing cult. Andrew and John are quite different, the power abuse takes quite different paths and levels of severity, but the central problem with attachment to the image of absolute power and how that corrupts, is the same.
I have come to believe that any teacher/master, who is working here on planet Earth, needs to be led and governed by a higher initiate, because of the inherent view limitation in being incarnate. There is a very real need of guidance from the elder Masters that have gone before us into the Beyond. They have passed through death and initiations into higher levels, into a wider perspective, where perfect wisdom and purity actually exist.
If the teacher does not have such lineage or affinity in the Beyond, he must actively seek exposure and sparring in a collective forum of other teachers and advanced souls, outside of his own field, to avoid the fallacies of teachership.
The new paradigm: Awakened Group Function
My description of the new paradigm will necessarily be brief, because the present text is primarily concerned with shedding light on the fallacies of the old master/disciple relationship and how lack of this light has led to the power-abuse of John deRuiter.
However, there is a growing intention to publish a book with input from different contributors, who are dedicated to the new paradigm of awakened group function. This is an evolutionary leap, which will probably be hundreds of years in the making. For now, we are in the very tender infancy, – not enough is known yet and a lot of maturation clearly needs to happen first.
Many masters, including John, have attempted to establish collective resonance in their group. Their leadership has been absolutely indispensable in this, so far. Without the uniting and centering presence of the master, larger groups would not have been able to enter long moments of coherent and awakened awareness.
At the same time I also think that this leadership inhibits the full unfoldment of the wisdom that lies enshrined in all the individuals of the group. The leader´s inherent limitation of view becomes the bottleneck. It doesn’t so much constrain the wordless transmission itself. But the limitation becomes unmistakable later, when the transmission has to be translated into human life through our thoughts, words and actions, because it tends to happen exclusively in accordance with the teachers perspective and instruction.
The new possibility arises when a group of awakened people gather in a non-hierarchical setting, without adherence to any common teacher/master/mediator, but each directly accessing the Source in their own individual stream. Together, such a group of competent individuals constitute a jewel with many facets of wisdom, which in my view, far surpasses the singular stream of the master transmission. The Living Being, the Nameless One (call it what you will…) who holds all teachings, fields and perspectives can virtually descend in the empty chair in our midst. It is made corporeal through our multifaceted human presence and bodies. As an open coherent Oneness, we are its body, we are its hands and feet in this world.
This awakened group function of course implies a certain level of awakening and integration. There is good reason why it has not happened much yet. To be able to fully function, the awakening of each individual in the group must have reached a degree of self-generating momentum, where he/she gravitates more towards the open wakefulness than towards the usual re-identification with the separate self.
Even though this might sound a bit intimidating, there is no reason not to start a joyful and devoted ready-making. Whenever two come together in His name, He will be there. We can all start here.
For some, this might not sound like such a big difference from what is already occurring in full scale in Edmonton. If you haven´t come to the point where living under the masters umbrella is constrictive to your view and being within a sectarian community feels like an imprisonment, then of course it won´t make sense to leave it.
In my case there is no choice anymore – I live and die under the open sky.
You may ask how I know that my interpretation of the facts is true and not just another example of what I said earlier: the minds ability to make anything true and the blindsided antagonism between different fields?
How do I know that Johns calling to be sexually together with chosen female disciples is a power-abuse and not just giving form to the Deep? Since I can identify quite similar sexual structures in me, how do I know that this is not just a projection of my own shadows?
Am I angry, jealous and sad, because of how all this sowed discord in my love-relationship and led to its demise?
Yes, it is all there, I am human and do not claim flawlessness. And the mind can never be sure whether it is mixing levels and confusing thinking with knowing. So there is plenty of opportunity to dismiss me and try to sweep it all under the rug again.
I have also questioned my own intentions and depth of knowing and asked many friends for full mirroring and exposure. It has taken a few years of thorough investigation, after I left Edmonton.
Today when I probe my knowing to communicate this, I neither end up with the vengeance of the emotions or the barren polarization of the mind. Deeper than these I find gold in speaking this out. Personally I find gold in trusting my own knowing, making a clean cut and move on. Collectively there is gold in the possible learning process that can free us from the traps of the guru game. And last, I speak because I cannot allow the gold that John has unveiled to be contaminated by his own downfall.